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I’m old,” she said. “I haven’t got any money. Go away. Don’t hurt me.”
“We don’t want your money,” Lula said. “We want your poop.”
The woman choked up on the dog’s leash. “You can’t have the poop. I have to take the poop home. It’s the law.”
“The law don’t say you gotta take it home,” Lula said. “It’s just somebody gotta do it. And we’re volunteering.”
….
“I don’t know if that’s right,” the woman said. “I’ve never heard of that. I think I’m suppose to take the poop home.”
“Okay,” Lula said. “We’ll pay you for the poop.” Lula looked over at me. “Give her a couple of bucks for her poop.”
I searched my pockets. “I don’t have any money on me. I didn’t bring my purse.”
“I won’t take less than five dollars,” the woman said.
“Turns out we don’t have any money on us,” Lula said.
“Then it’s my poop,” the woman said.
“The heck it is,” Lula said, muscling the woman out of the way and scooping the poop up in the chicken bucket. “We need this poop.”
“Help!” the woman yelled. “They’re taking my poop! Stop! Thief!”
“I got it,” Lula said. “I got it all.